Temple of Holy Ironail

Song the First: The Naval Legend

23:45 Ironail is Great, Ironail is Merciful. Praise be Him, as we chant His story from humble beginnings. In the holy year 2011 of His reign on earth, Ironail discovered the game Afterwind, while browsing 4chan's /int/. He, in His infinite wisdom, recognised the game for what it was: a fertile hunting ground, fit for a Hunter-God like Himself to hone His skills and become the absolute best.

23:46 The early days were hard for Ironail, the Merciful, the All-Powerful, Watcher of the Orient. Many older, powerful heathen gods roamed the maps of Afterwind, hunting Ironail down. But little by little, He toughened up, and starting commanding the game with some skill. And then, He worked out an early winning combination.

23:47 Praise be Him who contemplated the earth of Afterwind and realised that Salvation lay within the shores of East Asia. He picked Naval Commander, and began unleashing doom and destruction upon his foes, from Taiwan and South Korea. He quickly became a terror of the South China seas and beyond, sending His Asian hordes into India and the Middle East with His super-fast transport ships. He burned a blazing trail of fire into the hearts and minds of the Afterwind noobs.
But He was far from the best yet. Many trials awaited His Magnificence.


Song the Second: Warborn Legion

24:48 It was around that time that Ironail the Great, Guardian of Mecca and the Lands of Arabia, was trying out the Caliphate of England as a naval starting position. A terrible and ancient God, Gigglin the Devourer, was playing in the Middle East and slowly swarming Europe with a million jihadi warriors. Ironail was soon pushed back to the confines of His domain, in the freezing Northern Wastelands of Britain and Scandinavia. But He held on, and one of His devout followers, dexter11, playing as the Golden Chicanos of Mexico, came to His rescue. Together, They beat back and ultimately vanquished Gigglin the Devourer, imprisoning him down under the sandy deserts of Iran.
And the Myth grew to become Legend...

24:49 A few days later, as Ironail the Everlasting Light of the East was playing as the Philippines, two higher gods, sificvoid, Lord of Nether, and Guest14502, Exalted Demigod of the Guest Swarm, saw Him for what He was: a dire threat to their supremacy. They banded together, and after a gruelling, brutal match in Eurasiafrica, managed to defeat Ironail, sustaining excruciatingly large losses. It was one of the darkest hours of the All-Knowing, All-Seeing Ironail, and yet, good came of this defeat. Sificvoid, Lord of Nether, offered Ironail a choice: join the Warborn Legion, his screaming horde of five billion fanatical warriors, or suffer defeat. Ironail the Great, the Opportunist Deceiver, could not pass up such an accession into the highest playing field of all: coalition wars.

24:50 There was a coalition, peerless amongst them, called Semper Fi. It was a pantheon of the most evil and powerful old gods ever to walk the Afterwind lands. Gigglin the Devourer; Specter the Infernal; MarcJr, God of War; n00less Cluebie, superior denizen of the seventh Hell; and many more lesser gods, all reviled and feared across Afterwind. On the Warborn Legion's side, such holy Champions as Ironail the Fearless, LiodaGobert the supreme Tactician and the Jungle Voodoo master, Pinheiro, formed a small yet resilient bulwark against the tides of Semper Firian darkness. Sificvoid, Lord of Nether, ordered his troops into one final titanic conflict of yore, whose outcome would shape Afterwind for a long time thereafter

24:51 Then came the war. The horns sounded, and the champions rose to the call. Ironail, a grand master in the art of godly conflict by then, was chosen to champion the Warborn Legion. He chose two lesser deities, Okmera and Kletian, and together They set out against three of Semper Fi's most daunting bloodletters: n00less cluebie, Gigglin and MarcJr. Ironail's supreme strategies, His peerless gift for commanding Naval troops, combined with Kletian's holy endurance in Pakistan, won the game for them. It was our Lord Ironail's most glorious hour in ancient times.


Song the Third: Decline and the Lost Years.

25:52 The land was wrecked. Flames from the deaths of the Semper Fi gods left Europe in ruins and smithereens. The Warborns were shattered and exhausted themselves, despite being victorious. It was a grim Dark Age of Strife, in which Our Lord and Saviour, Ironail, Shining Beacon of Faith in the East, roamed the lands, holding the tattered and singed banner of the leaderless Legion up for anyone to see. New entities were arising in the borderlands, eager to carve out a space for themselves in the devastated wake of Semper Fi and Warborn Legion. Ironail attempted to fend off these new threats, but he was eventually taken in and assimilated by /int/ we believe in, the largest and shittiest of these goon swarms.

25:53 Ironail, Champion of a Thousand Wars and Spiritual Leader of a Billion Souls, continued to gain power and skill. He became a revered member of the community, rising in strength, rep and SP. But there was still something missing in His religion. His arch-nemeses fell one after the other in front of His seemingly unstoppable might. He entered the top ten of all powerful entities of Afterwind, surpassing even His old master, sificvoid, Lord of Nether. He led /int/ to many a great victory, but all the while He realised that /int/, due to Russian control, would never satisfy Him. In the end, He quit /int/ without a second glance, once He saw that these lesser mortals would not revere Him as they should revere Him.


[to be continued...]